literature

I'm 'Too Hot'!? ( BBT! Levi x Reader )

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ChayChan
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This was meant to be a romantic trip.. albeit there was work involved on his side and a lot of boring lectures his girlfriend (y/n) would have to listen to, but at night; romantic trip ( if you caught his drift ). That was the plan.. However it appeared fate thought differently; how could you tell? 

Well think of it this way, instead of lying beside his girlfriend in a bed they were known to share, he had half a mind on whether that bed would still be open for him, and whether it would even be called 'theirs'. Plus the fact that he was alone, and screaming down the current road he was on at 100 mph could also be a good indicator that nothing was going right.

Oh, you haven't the slightest as to what was going on? Suppose we should start over.. Alright: it was two days ago.
***

(y/n) had reached a slight bump in the road.

She had known what she was getting into when she had agreed to go with Levi on his business trip to give lectures on physics and other things of that sort with his colleagues.. or at least she thought she did. That was, until five of Levi's business friends came over to their shared home and began setting up some hard core game plan ( white boards, fancy electronic devices and stacks of papers included ).

Needless to say really, the true impact of what she had now been roped into hit her hard.

She had known they would be gone for a weekend; arrive Staurday morning, hold lectures ( which she would be participating in by napping at the back of the room and patting Levi on the back for doing such a great job explaining something she hadn't the slightest clue about ), sleep over, have some more lectures, and come back home. 

She didn't know they would be driving for 5 hours to get to the resort where the conference was being held.
She didn't know Oluo ( the other member of their car ) was prone to getting car sick when driving for a long time, and enjoyed copying her boyfriend;s every move.
She didn't know Hanji ( whom she had met before ) enjoyed telling Levi the wrong directions to take which meant they had a high probability of getting lost.
And she most definitely didn't know they would have to wake up at 3 am and be on the road by 3:30 so they could be there before 9 to check in.

Now she was happy to do this for her boyfriend.. Throw in five of his friends and that's great too! Withstand boring lectures she didn't understand, perfect. But get up at 3 am for all this crap?! This was a problem; a big one. 

She really should have read the fine print before signing the contract.

But it was too late now, she was in the passenger side of the car ( after being more or less carried down the stairs by Levi ) and already about a half hours drive from home; it was much too far to walk back, so lectures, here we come!

About another hour or so in and she was finally, fully awake. She could smile again, open her eye lids all the way without them feeling like they were a thousand pounds, and the head ache she had initially been plagued with had gone away; and it was a beautiful morning with relatively little traffic. Maybe this wasn't too bad after all? She could always hope!

However while things were going well for her and most likely Levi ( as he hadn't done as much complaining as expected ) she wished the same could be said for poor Oluo in the back seat. He had been fine for the first forty minutes, even attempted to watch Levi's face in the rear view mirror to copy his expression and repeat to her what the lectures would be about ( throwing in some curses like Levi ). But now he was reduced to a moaning, writhing mess which appeared to be having a very hard time keeping in what she could assume had been some form of breakfast. After expressing her concern for him, he merely shook his very pale head and said it was 'sweet of her' to care about him.. Then he threw up in the backseat of her car.

Or let her put it this way; her company car. That's right, they were driving (y/n)'s company car to this convention. 

Lucky for them ( lucky..? ) they were near a gas station. Levi had called Hanji over the walky talky ( Hanji made them promise to use them, along with silly code names like 'Humanity's Strongest' and others of the such ) and metioned that they would have to pull over before he murdered Petra's boyfriend. From there he paid the two dollars for the vacuum machine and did his best to clean the mess up and remove the smell ( also using the cleaning supplies (y/n) had walked across the street to the Walmart for ). 

Now about twenty five minutes behind and in a considerably worse mood the two cars headed out again; with some minor changes.

Not wanting to be in the same car as Oluo's throw-up, and also not wanting to remain with him (y/n) had made the switch into Hanji's truck.. Leaving Levi behind. She had little faith in his other friend's driving skills, and she wished to avoid more serious accidents to her car. In her place went Petra, who chose to sit with her own boyfriend in the back seat. Now (y/n) found herself smooshed between Gunther and Erd in the backseat of Hanji's truck as Hanji's front seat belt was broken off ( don't ask her how, seriously don't. It's a long and boring story; (y/n) found out ).

Though fairing pretty bad herself, Levi by far was having the worse of the worse in terms of terrible times. Let's go through the list of things that's happened so far, shall we?

1- (y/n) wasn't exactly 'ecstatic' about this whole thing, attempting a romantic vacation get-away may be a tad harder then he thought. 
2- It wasn't even 6 am yet and she had already left him.
3- Oluo threw up in (y/n)'s company car and he had to clean it up
4- Petra mentioned that singing helped Oluo's stomach when driving; cue the couples duet.

"They say we're young and we don't know, we won't find out until we grow~" Petra began.

Through the torture of their caterwauling Levi texted (y/n):

Levi: I'm looking forward to reaching the resort, then you and I can have a nap.

"Well I don't know if all that's true, 'cause you've got me.. and baby I've got you~" Oluo answers, and Petra began making some odd 'da da' sounds.

He returned his attention back to the road, before hearing the 'ding' of his phone.

(y/n): Really? The mighty Levi Ackerman is tired already? I'd suggest you nap in the car.. but I suppose that's not really an option; Stay strong, babe!

He frowned slightly.

Levi: No, (y/n).. You and I could take a nap. Together.

(y/n): I'm actually not tired anymore.. I suppose we could always switch again and I could drive and you could sleep.. would that work better?

He heard a slight beep from behind him and quickly swerved back into his lane ( never text and drive! ).

"All right asshole, the honk was sufficient; no need to extend your middle finger" he muttered under his breath before another 'ding' took his attention once more.

(y/n): Me again, I just asked Hanji.. Apparently by 'nap' you mean sex. We'll see babe, just focus on driving.

"I got you babe!" The two sang louder than before. Levi thought he could focus on driving, like (y/n) said. 

Soon enough however his patience had worn thin and he couldn't take the two singers behind him anymore; he texted her again.

Levi: We switch people right now or I swear I will drive over this overpass.

No response. He didn't drive over the overpass; they all arrive in one piece ( more or less ).
***
Now in the resort lobby and waiting in a rather long line ( apparently these conventions were popular, who knew? ) Levi just stood with a grim expression on his face. The list had gotten longer, shall we read it out;

5- Petra and Oluo had sung for the entire hour and a half that remained of the drive, stopping only when Oluo puked again.. this time out the window, thank god.
6- The line was easily going to be a twenty minute wait no matter how you looked at it.
7- Levi was now almost so exhausted that when he mentions a 'nap' now he means a literal 'nap'. He could sleep for months.

"(n/n)..Is that you?"

Levi heard a deep voice call out to his girlfriend from behind him, as (y/n) turned he followed along; and was met with the sight of possibly the biggest wall of a man he had ever seen.. And what the fuck was up with those eyebrows?

"Erwin? Aha, it's been ages! How have you been doing?" (y/n) said with a smile and a slight chuckle.

"Ah, not too bad.. Not too bad at all! Are you here for the conference? I don't remember you ever having an interest in this stuff?" the man, now introduced a Erwin, said.

"Actually to be fair I'm not.. Erwin, this ( she wrapped her arms around his waist, and snuggled more or less into his side ) is my boyfriend Levi! He's doing a lecture here with some of his colleagues~"

"Oh? Nice to meet you Levi" He held his hand out to shake and Levi took it as (y/n) detached herself from him. 

"Nice to meet you ( wow he had a strong grip ) too.. Erwin was it?"

"Yeah.. Well, I've got to run; I'm giving my own lecture in about 5 minutes actually. Take care of her Levi, she's a real gem!" Erwin left and Levi turned to '(n/n)' with a slight frown evident in his normally neutral face.

"You two wouldn't happen to be aqquanted with each other due to the fact that he's your gay cousin would you?"

"Ahah! No silly, Erwin was my one of my professors in university!" Oh, Levi supposed he could live with that. "Then we went out for four months or so." 

New list addition:

8- Levi would have to pray to god things weren't as proportional as they seemed.
***

After a long day of boredom (y/n) and Levi were finally alone in their hotel room, but instead of 'napping' like the original offer stated, the two wanted nothing more than to sleep. However, it wasn't coming too easy for him.

"(y/n).." He said while he changed out of his suit ( which he had worn for the lectures ) "So.. about Erwin.. you two dated for.. four months was it?"

(y/n) walked out of the washroom. Hair up in a bun, tooth brush in mouth and one of his shirts paired with a pair of her pyjama shorts.

"Yeah, but it was years ago..?" she moved back into the washroom and spat out the toothpaste before rinsing her mouth and returning to the main room and crawling into bed.

"Ah, okay sure.. sure. So how tall is he, like 5'11?" Levi remained where he was.

"Eh, more like 6'2..Is this bothering you?"

"..What, no.. It's just.. Well" (y/n) sat up and gave him a strange look, clearly wondering where this was going.

"Well, what..? Babe it's not a competition.. I dumped him, and I'm dating you.. even if it were, I think you've 'won'."

"Yeah, but.. It's just I thought as a guy like me, going out with a girl like you.. I never thought I'd ever have to compete with a guy like him, you know?" He said a loud before he could think. (y/n) got out of bed and walked towards him, slowly. Shit, he realized his mistake too late.

"Excuse you? Girl like me? What are you saying Levi.. am I 'not hot' enough for a man like Erwin?!" 

"No-No of course not it's.. the opposite really!"

"I'm too hot for Erwin!?"

"Y-yeah.. Let's go with tha-"

He didn't even finish the sentence before (y/n) had walked out of their hotel room and slammed the door. God dammit Levi.

(y/n) stalked out of the room towards what she thought was the one Hanji stayed in and knocked on the door; it was whipped open by just the girl she was looking for.

"Oh hey (y/n)! What's up~"

"Can I stay here tonight? Levi's an absolute ass."

"Ohh that, sure come on in!"

Now since living with Levi had practically trained (y/n) into becoming a 'neat freak' if you will, the state of Hanji's hotel room honestly scared her a little. There were clothes, magazines, snacks, and basically everything but the kitchen sink laying about the room.

"I only have a one bed room, but you can sleep with me! Just a warning though, I'm prone to night terrors and some say I bite!" Oh goody. She crawled into bed none the less and Hanji slid in beside her, smiling like a maniac. 

Three hours later and it was 1 am. Hanji was snoring and twitching in her sleep. (y/n) was laying awake on the floor, fresh bite marks littering her arm.

..Levi on the other hand decided he didn't want to stay in that room anymore, it reminded him that he was an absolute idiot. So he pulled a pair of sweat pants on and moved to the hall towards the room he had vaguely remembered being named as 'Petra and Oluo's' and knocked on the door. Muttering curses under his breath about how much of a dumb ass he was.

"Oh.. Levi right? What can I do for you?" He shot his head back up and stumbled backwards a few paces, before composing himself and coughing awkwardly.

"Oh Erwin. Sorry for disturbing you, wrong room number."

"Ah, okay. Have a good night then, let (n/n) know I say hi!"

"Yeah, I'll do that.."

Now in an even worse mood ( how is this possible ) he continued to mutter curses ( a lot louder now ) as he tried to remember his own room number while he walked back, giving up on bunking with Oluo and Petra for the moment. When he reached the room he reached for the key in his pocket.. Then tried the other one.. Then just for fuck's sake shook the handle in an attempt to open it. 

The door was then opened by Gunther.. Fuck he was too tired for this whole room number shit. What was his, what wasn't; he hadn't a clue.

"Oh, Levi.. Um now isn't the best time.. Did you forget your room key? Ah, and (y/n)'s not there? Here, have this key.. It's for Petra's and Oluo's room, they're room 312; they left this copy here when they went back after the movie. Good night!" And with that, he shut the door. Admittedly strange behaviour, but at this point it was just past midnight ( There was a small time-skip back to Levi, remember? ) and Levi was thoroughly done with everything; he just wanted to sleep.

Inserting the key without announcing his presence Levi invited himself in and walked into the room. He heard a slight 'yelp' and a small screech coming from the single bed.

"L-Levi! What are you doing here!" Petra asked. He glanced briefly in there direction to see Petra trying to cover herself and Oluo trying to figure out what was going on; looks like he interrupted something. Not deterred in the least, he provided an answer;

"I'm an ass, Shitty glasses is sleeping with my girlfriend ( not sex ), Fucking eye brows is 6'2, Gunther's busy, I can't remember my room number, even if I did I'm locked out, and Oluo owes me for puking in (y/n)'s car."

A half hour later and it was 1 am. Oluo and Petra were positively fuming and ready to throw Levi out a window. Levi was sleeping on the floor, dreaming of a day before he fucked up bad with (y/n) and before Erwin was introduced into his life.
***
It was Sunday now and it was time for round 2 of the lectures. This one was basically just on their respective fields; why they chose them, and what they do.

"Good morning folks! I'm Hanji and today we're here to provide a lecture to you all on science~" Hanji spoke up from Levi's left. "Levi, why don't you start?"

"Yeah Levi, why don't you enlighten us all with why you're here" Oluo spat out from the other end of the panel. Sending a glare to match his fury. Levi opened his mouth to retort when he was cut off.

"I'd like to weigh in here; He's here to give a lecture I think, let you're colleague talk!" A member of the audience spoke up; it was Erwin coming to his defence. Levi couldn't say he was a fan of that, he snapped;

"Oh fuck you, Erwin! We're not friends, why are you even here!?" Really; tell us how you really feel Levi.

"Um.. Levi, what did he do-" Erd was quickly silenced with a steely glare.

"Its nothing, really. It's just that since his field is microbiology sometimes he has a difficult time when he's confronted by a being of larger standards." (y/n) has now joined the conversation. Levi turned to face her in the crowd;

"Alright you want to play that way? Let's put this out there then; how would you act now if you were to meet my ex-girlfriend let's say.. Angelina Jolie!"

"Come on Levi; at least be realistic here!"

"Oh, are you saying I'm not hot enough for Angelina Jolie?"

Putting on a fake 'him' voice she mimicked him; "No that's not it, I'm saying the opposite really!"

"Screw the argument we had last night, (y/n)!"

"No, you don't screw the argument; the argument screws you!"

"Go to hell (y/n)!"

"Please Sweetheart, with you screeching at me like that I don't need to go to hell; I'm there already!" Levi had no response for that one and had to take a brief moment to take a sip of water; his throat was feeling very dry all of a sudden.

"A-alright! How about some we now accept questions from out audience; any questions?" Gunther, using the momentary lack of screaming, attempted to calm everyone down.

"Yeah, I've got a fucking great one! Is there anyone who can get me the hell back to Trost?!" (y/n) called out.    

"Actually I'm headed back there right now!" A new voice from the audience spoke up, Levi looked up at this newbie briefly and spat out his water. Screw Erwin, this man was big enough to be a train. Hanji let out a loud laugh and spoke up.

"Oh hey! (y/n) that's Reiner, Reiner that's (y/n)! He's a cool guy, you'll have a lot to talk about~"

"Nooooo!" Levi stood and screeched. 
***

And that ladies and gentlemen was why he was driving down the road, by himself, at 100 mph, wondering if their bed could still be called 'theirs'. He heard a soft 'ding' from the passenger seat, and reached slowly to grab his phone. 




(y/n): You're an ass. Hurry the fuck home, I'm exhausted from fighting off that creep Reiner and I really want to take a nap.




This is a complete spoof of The Big Bang Theory episode I watched today; I just thought it might be fun to write? Anyway, I really think that it would be fun to write more crossover thingys like this.. So, maybe I'll do that?

Also I'm sorry that there isn't much fluff between Reader and Levi, it's more of a crack story if you will? It's a little face paced and rushed but please enjoy none-the-less!

Nothing is mine except the writing and to an extent, the plot.
If you don't want your art used as the cover to this story, please let me know and I'll remove it!
© 2014 - 2024 ChayChan
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nboat's avatar
nboat
I'm so sorry I don't luek this one very confusing